Let’s have an honest conversation. Maybe life has gotten busy. Maybe you’re going through a breakup, health issue, or you’re just not in the mood. Whatever the reason, you’ve stopped having sex — and now you’re wondering, “Is that a big deal?” Well, it can be. I’m not here to scare you, but I do want to walk you through what might happen when sex is off the table for a while. And don’t worry — we’re keeping this simple, friendly, and judgement-free.
First, let’s talk about stress and anxiety. Believe it or not, sex can be a great stress reliever. It helps your body release feel-good chemicals that calm your brain and body. When you stop having sex, your body may not get as much of that natural “chill pill,” and that can make anxiety and stress feel a little heavier. It’s like missing your morning coffee or your daily walk — your body notices when something soothing is missing.
Then there’s your heart. And I’m not talking about heartbreak — I mean your actual heart. Research shows that people who have sex regularly — around twice a week — may have a lower risk of heart disease. That’s partly because sex is a form of light exercise. You’re moving your body, raising your heart rate, and using muscles. It’s not exactly a trip to the gym, but it counts. If you stop having sex, you miss out on that bit of healthy movement, and that might affect your heart over time.
Speaking of exercise, did you know sex can burn about five calories a minute? That’s similar to taking a brisk walk. Sure, it’s not a full workout, but it adds up. And more importantly, when you feel good mentally, you’re more likely to be active in other ways — like walking the dog, doing chores, or maybe joining that local dance class. When sex goes away, you might feel less motivated to move in general.
Here’s something funny — but true. When you’re not having sex, you might start losing your keys more often. No, sex doesn’t make you a genius, but studies show it may help with memory, especially for people over 50. Scientists think the brain gets some kind of boost from sexual activity, but they’re still figuring out exactly why. So, if you’ve walked into a room and forgotten why you’re there, maybe your brain just misses a little action.
Your immune system also likes when you’re having sex. People who have sex once a week tend to have higher levels of a substance called IgA, which helps your body fight off germs. It’s like a built-in shield. But here’s the twist — too much sex doesn’t seem to boost it more, and having none may lower it. So, there’s a sweet spot, and your body knows it.
Let’s talk about relationships. Sex isn’t everything, but it does help bring couples closer. After sex, your brain releases chemicals that help you feel more connected and happy with your partner. Some people call this the “afterglow,” and it can last for a day or two. If you stop having sex, your relationship might start to feel more like roommates than romantic partners. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other — but it’s something to be aware of.
Now, here’s something for the guys. In one study, men who ejaculated less than seven times a month were more likely to develop prostate cancer than those who did it at least 21 times a month. We don’t know exactly why, but it seems that staying sexually active may help keep the prostate healthy. Just a reminder though — safe sex is important. Protecting your health always comes first.
Another surprise? Sleep. Sex helps release hormones that help you relax and sleep better. Prolactin and oxytocin are two of those hormones, and women also get a boost in estrogen, which helps them sleep even deeper. If you’ve been tossing and turning at night, your body might be missing this natural sleep aid.
Sex can also help with pain. It might not sound like a remedy for a headache, but it really can work. After an orgasm, your body releases endorphins — natural chemicals that reduce pain. They can help with headaches, backaches, even cramps. If you stop having sex, you might notice those aches and pains sticking around a little longer.
Now here’s a phrase you might’ve heard before: “Use it or lose it.” That can apply to sex, too. When women go through menopause, the vaginal tissue can get thin, dry, and tight — and that can make sex uncomfortable. But staying sexually active may help keep things flexible and healthy. For men, studies show that having sex less than once a week may increase the chance of erectile dysfunction. So yes, like your muscles, your sexual organs like to be used now and then.
There’s even a connection between sex and your blood pressure. Regular sex can help keep it in a healthy range. That might be because sex reduces stress and provides a little exercise at the same time. When you stop having sex, your blood pressure might slowly creep up, especially if you’re not doing other things to manage stress and stay active.
So, what’s the takeaway here? Well, stopping sex won’t cause all these problems overnight. But over time, your body — and even your emotions — may feel the change. If you’re in a relationship, the emotional closeness can shift. If you’re single, you might just notice some differences in how you feel, sleep, or move.
That said, there’s no perfect number of times to have sex. What matters most is that you feel healthy, connected, and supported — physically and emotionally. If you’re not having sex right now, for whatever reason, that’s okay. Just find other ways to stay active, manage stress, and take care of your health. Hug your partner. Go for a walk. Talk to someone. Take care of your heart and mind — with or without sex.
And if you have questions or concerns — especially about pain, erectile issues, or relationship worries — don’t be shy. Talk to your doctor. They’ve heard it all, and they’re there to help, not judge.
At the end of the day, your body is smart. It tells you what it needs. So listen to it. Whether you’re bringing sex back into your life or just learning to live without it for now, what matters most is how you feel.